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Federalist Bon-Bons

Submitted by James Madison, John Jay, and Alexander Hamilition
Ingredients

·       Federalist Papers

·       National Bank

·       No small republics

·       Eggs of strong central government

·       Mix of Bill of Rights and Ratification of Constitution

·       Checks and Balances

·       Responsibility of government (necessary and proper clause) and Strong Executive Branch spices

Steps:

1.     First, preheat the oven to 1788 degrees. USE EXTREME CAUTION! ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP!

2.     Use a large bowl.  First, wet the Federalist Papersuntil they are soggy.  Roll them into small spheres, about the size of eyeballs, and set aside on a cookie sheet. These will be your bon-bons.  MAKE SURE THE COOKIE SHEET IS NOT GREASED!  FEDERALISTS ARE ALREADY SLIPPERY AND MANIPULATIVE AS IT IS!

3.     Now, combine ½ cup of desire for a strong national bank (taste it first to make sure it is rich) and 2 cups of dislike for strong republics (should taste of sweat and greed) in a large bowl.  Mix with a spoon until frothy.  If tasted, it should have a very rich bittersweet taste.

4.      Now, crack open your eggs of strong government.  It make be a bit difficult, the shell is thick.  Do not be afraid to crack hard, just make sure the yolk in the middle stays intact.  Pour it in the EXACT CENTER of the bowl.  Whisk until all ingredients are wet.     

5.     Now , bring out your mix of Bill of Rights and Ratification of Constitution.  VERY CAREFULLY, separate out the Ratification from the Bill of Rights.  Pour 3 cups of Ratification of Constitution into mix.  MAKE SURE NONE OF THE BILL OF RIGHTS GETS INTO MIX!

6.     Then, pour in a dash of checks and balances. Mix until entire solution is bright red.

7.     Pick up your bon-bons of Federalist Papers.  Dip them, one by one, into the mix.  Make sure the bon-bons are entirely covered.  Replace on STILL-NON GREASED cookie sheet.

8.     Sprinkle bon-bons with responsibility of government and strong executive branch.

9.     Put bon-bons in oven.  USE CAUTION AND ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP! 

10.  Bake for exactly 13 minutes, then remove.  Let cool for 7.4 minutes.

11.  Remove balls from sheet.  They should be a bit hard to remove, just as Federalists are hard to sway.

Serve.   Makes 85 servings.

Anti-Federalist Tacos



         Submitted by George Mason, Patrick Henry, Richard Henry Lee

         Written by John Hancock, Samuel Adams, Edmund Randolph, with help from Mercy Otis Warren

This is a snack that is appeals to farmers, artisans, and skilled workers.  It is fun to make in a group, to allow participation of the people.

Ingredients:

·       Copies of Mercy Otis Warren plays

·       Ground Meat of Limited national government

·       Mix of Bill of Rights and Ratification of Constitution

·       Eggs with yolk of national government, white of state government

·       Small valuable republican communities

·       Monarchy Executive Branch Leaves

·       Too much power to national government sauce (necessary and proper clause)

    Steps:

1.     First, cut the Mercy Otis Warren plays into circles using a cookie cutter about 5 inches in diameter.  Set aside.  These will be your taco shells.  Set aside on a large plate.  MAKE SURE THE PLATE IS NOT GREASED!!! ANTI-FEDERALISTS ARE JUST AS SLIPPERY AS FEDERALISTS!

2.     Next, put ground meat of limited national government into a frying pan.  Be warned, this meat has limited flavor.  Fry until golden brown.  Set aside on plate. 

3.     Now, take out your mix of Bill and Rights and Ratification of Constitution.  VERY CAREFULLY, separate Bill of Rights from Ratification of Constitution.  Pour Bill of Rights into another bowl for one of your fillings.  IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT NONE OF THE RATIFICATION OF CONSTITUTION GETS INTO FILLING! However, make large amounts of Bill of Rights.  It will be a main filling.

4.     In an alternate bowl, separate the egg whites of state government from the yolk of national government.  MAKE SURE THAT NO YOLK IS IN MIX! IT WILL DREADFULLY ALTER YOUR RESULT! 

5.     In another frying pan, make scrambled egg whites of state government.  Cook to your preference; just make sure that there is no yolk of national government. 

6.     Now, go back to your Mercy Otis Warren play taco shells.  Fill with meat of limited national government.  (You may want to use a lot due to its limited flavor.) Fill with your preferred amount of Bill of Rights, and then add your scrambled egg whites of state government. 

7.     Sprinkle small valuable republican communities over the top of the fillings.

8.     Place two or three leaves from the Monarchy Executive Branch.  Remember, the Anti-Federalist didn’t want this, but were afraid that this would happen, so don’t use too many. 

9.     Pour on desired amount of power to national government sauce. Use too much, just as the anti-federalists believed the necessary and proper clause gave too much power to the national government.

10.  Roll up your tacos. 

Serve.  Makes 13 servings.